Yes, we finally have some shows coming up.  Unfortunately for some, the next two are of the private party variety - so if you live near Leicester, drive around on Saturday night and see if you can find us.  But beyond that ...
 
Friday, June 26 at Gilreins in Worcester
Sunday, June 28 at Wachusett Village Inn with The Fools
 
Check out the SHOWS page for more info.
 
Sorry about the bitter update last time, but it has spawned the idea to write a book titled "How to know when you're in a douchebag coverband".
 
That's all for the moment.  Love you!  Miss you!
 
Jeff
 
 
 

I've gotten some recent emails asking if we're still a band, and if we're ever playing again.  The answer is yes on all accounts. 
 
Unequivocally.
 
Not a lot of gigs, because - and I know this sounds like an excuse, but it is a fact - the economic stuff is slowing things down.  Everyone is hurting for cash these days, including a lot of clubs.  So rather than figuring out how to put compelling acts into their clubs, many have taken the approach of booking Uncle Bubba's pick up blooze band, cousin Timmy's toad-licking-fretted-out-slide-solo jam band, or the dude next door's metal band BECAUSE THEY DO NOT PAY THEM TO PLAY.  THEY CHARGE THE PEOPLE THAT COME IN A COVER FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT AND CHARGE THEM FOR DRINKS BUT THE BANDS DO NOT GET ANY OF IT.
 
Because, a lot of bands suck and they are grateful to play anywhere that will have them.  The club/band thing is like an abusive relationship, except after hearing some of these bands you understand why they get slapped around.
 
Or, look at it like this - let's say your boss calls and wants you to come in on Saturday night from 7PM to 2AM.  When you get there you have to lug a few thousand pounds of gear in (unless there's a PA, then it's a few hundred), set it up, make sure it works, then you can sit around for a bit.  After awhile, break everything back down and haul it away.
 
And you're not going to get paid, OK?
 
Let me know how many of you sign up for that.  Personally, I'm better than that and I won't do it.  I wouldn't ask anyone to do it either.
 
It's not for lack of hustling, people, but until I can use my dad's car dealerships to finance the rental fees on clubs all over Massachusetts and build a Newbury Comics attached to my Hyundai dealership to make sure my Sib Hashian comeback record makes number one, I am at the mercy of guys who are more interested in giving John Anthony's Rod Stewart tribute act and Joe Douchebag's fat-chick-fronted-cover band a place to peddle their weak renditions of "Maggie May" than having good bands perform.
 
But, it doesn't matter to me any more, because if it did, I would have eaten a bullet years ago.
 
So, I will now exit this train of despair and try to get myself back on a more appropriate plane - we will play again.  I will drink many beers.  It will be fun.  You will enjoy.  All will be well.
 
I promise.
 
 
 

Yes, enjoy the weekend, people.  Opening day is almost upon us which means more people paying attention to the big screens and less attention to the band.  Great, just great.  Luckily, Gilrein's is more about the music and less about the backward baseball caps ... speaking of backward baseball caps, I just read on NME that Limp Bizkit is gonna tour again.  There is no God.
 
OK, so a lot of you guys have been wondering what the hell the Key West trip was all about and "how did it go"?  Well, stay tuned here and I'll get the pictures and stories up in the next week.  Or, come down to Gilrein's and hear it first hand ...
 

Yeah, you read that correctly.  All of us are saddling up and flying down to the Sunshine State to play some shows.  What?  Huh?  How the?  Yeah, I don't know how Mark pulled this off either.  Regardless, it's rare we get a paid vacation so I'm packing a bathing suit, a pair of pants, one flip flop and some Hot Wheels truck ... wait a minute, I'm not high ... click the link above and you'll see the marina where the barge will be pulled up and we'll be blasting out some tunes to the bombed Margaritaville chicks, hairy tanned boat owner dudes and man-eating sharks.
 
I'm scared of sharks.
 
So, we'll be down there for a few days, drinking beers, making friends, fishing for grouper, dodging old ladies with catcher's mitt tans, and making some connections so I can build my network of drug mules to start lugging that sweet, sweet candy out of Caracas and onto the mean streets of Massachusetts ... just kidding there people ... although I'm probably getting random strip-searched at the airport now ... we'll be splitting our time between a condo and a houseboat.  No shit, a houseboat ... that either makes me Sonny Crockett or Noah from Beverly Hills 90210, although I totally would have scored some better looking tail than Donna Martin.  Please.  That girl has a face like a foot.  Any way, I think the odds on someone falling off the boat at 3:5 ... odds that they're drunk and pull a Natalie Wood are 8:1 ... but maybe that would give the new CD the "Sublime" effect (you know, hit record but you OD before the tour or the money).  Then again, that wouldn't matter for the bass player - they're like Bic lighters, you throw it out and pick up another one ...
 
So, if you wanna know anything else, just ask.  I'm not chartering a boat or a plane down there, but if you have friends or relatives down there, come on along, or call them and tell them to check us out.  Your support is greatly appreciated.
 
As for local shows, I think we're up at the Gilrein's on April 10 ... from there, who knows ...
 
See you in FLA
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Yeah, so I was supposed to win the Megamillions last night and then not come to my soul-sucking job today ... seriously, that's how bad it's getting ... I don't even watch the drawing at 11 or whenever it is ... I like to go to sleep thinking of what I'd do with a few million dollars.  If I was a hot 30-something-year-old chick, I could just pound martinis at Tosca's, wait for some 60 or 70 year-old married dude to come in, and then turn on the charm.  Next thing you know I'd be chin deep in 100s and a big house on the water in Cohasset ... sure, I'd have to wade through a sea of wrinkles every now and then, but I wouldn't have to spend 11 hours a day in a giant corporate go eff yourself purgatory ... I think it would be worth the wrinkles ...

Here's a Rock Equation for you, people:

Finished Record = $ per show x # of shows

So, what's $0 x 0?

I can't decide if AshleyMadison .com is pure genius or the beginning of the "End of Days".  I know a bunch of broads that do the on-line dating thing, and it seems a little involved if you ask me - find some dude's profile, then on to Google, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Fark, whatever and see if you can dig up any dirt on them before you decide whether or not to meet for a drink at the 99 and decide if there's a love connection ... or get a roofie in your burrito ... then along comes AshleyMadison and completely flips the on-line dating world ... a website devoted to setting up married people with other married people or those that are into married people ... it's like an online version of Stars on a Thursday night, except these gals aren't looking to become stepmothers to people older than they are, they're just looking to bang married dudes.  From the guy's side, it's not necessarily a bad idea ... he gets into a new risk category and doesn't have to put up with the whining, complaining and constant reminders that he doesn't make enough money.  But, it's also kinda creepy ... like a bad porno movie in real life.  We're all effed.  And no, I don't have a username, but if I did it would be "Toby Queef" ...

I was just in France, because blowing off a bunch of my personal time is apparently well within the bounds of an employer/employee relationship, and because why should I get to go to the Canary Islands with Lennie and a bunch of hot Spanish chicks?  Anyway, it's a well known fact that the French don't like Americans, but there is a "Larry Flynt's Hustler Club" on the Champs Elysees in Paris ... that's either a big FU or the biggest disaster ever ... the only thing worse than a French stripper is the Russian stripper ... the awful accent coupled with the broken English makes you think Rocky IV era Dolph Lundgren in drag is asking "you like I make sexy for you?"  And plus the whole hair thing.  Yuck.  I'm going on record to say that the strip club thing is over.  No more strip clubs in 2009 ... did I mention I have to go to Vegas in April?

Deval Patrick and Barney Frank have been on the news quite a bit these days.  Watching the news is now like listening to Dave Chapelle impersonating a white guy talking to Charles Nelson Reilly.  Add in Menino and I request a bullet in my noggin.  When you have to make speeches to get elected, how the hell do we elect people that sound ridiculous?  I don't get it.

Grammy Awards.  Bob Plant and Alison Krauss.  Am I the only one who thought they looked like a couple that met at Rustic Kitchen?  Him, married 40 years, four kids ages 17 to 28.  Her, 35, recently dumped by sensitive artist boyfriend who just wouldn't "grow up", looking for some money ... ugh.  Dude, Coldplay as best rock record over Death Magnetic?  Actually, Metallica deserves to lose after releasing "Some Kind of Monster" ... thrash band with interpersonal issues?  Not cool.  But Coldplay?  I think the 40-Year-Old Virgin stated it best:  "Wanna know how I know you're gay?  You like Coldplay ..."  Anyways, Bob Plant should win a Grammy every year for Led Zepplin IV.

I think I actually feel better now ... any of you Hingham second wives club members want to invest in a rock band?  Gold Circle memberships only $250 ... Gold Shower memberships are sold out ...

Later.